The Terror of Atlantis
by LdyAnne
Summary: Written for the JumperBay 15 minute challenge. Has to use the line “He hated babysitting.” Radek found out what real terror was.


He hated babysitting. His sister had thought that just because he was single, he would make an ideal babysitter. Well, she'd thought that until she had come home to find her precious child tied to the sofa and a documentary on animals who eat their young playing for his entertainment.

So he'd gone to another galaxy to escape babysitting (it wasn't the deciding factor, but it had been a definite bullet point in the pro's column on his spreadsheet) only to suddenly find himself babysitting one Rodney McKay. Rodney was a terror on a normal day but when he'd been regressed to a 5-year-old he was even worse.

Why the Ancients thought it would be a good thing to be a 5-year-old again was anyone's guess. And Radek didn't have time for guessing. He had his hands full dealing with a 5-year-old Rodney McKay. Once you added a 5-year-old John Sheppard and Ronon Dex, Radek was ready to pull out what was left of his hair. Thank god for Teyla. Even at 5 she was calm and composed.

"I don't wanna nap." Rodney wailed. He stamped his foot and thrust out his chin defiantly, the very picture of his 40-year-old self if it weren't for the cloud of golden curls that framed his face making him appear sweet and cherubic (Radek was in no way fooled).

"You must nap, because you are sleepy," Radek insisted, trying for logic.

"Not sleepy," Rodney insisted even as he rubbed at one eye and yawned widely.

"Everyone else is going to take nap," Radek continued with logic because it was the only tactic he knew besides, "I said so."

"Sheppard's not napping," Rodney shrieked pointing after the boy who was trying to sneak out of the nursery (it was really a private suite of the infirmary but it had been converted to a nursery in order to keep the teammates contained) using Rodney's outburst as cover.

"John will be napping, too," Teyla said as she dived to stop him. Ronon, not wanting to be left out of the fun, pounced on top of them both. Before Radek could do anything to intervene, there was a full-scale tussle on the floor complete with screaming and flailing. Radek expected to see blood flying any minute.

"They're not napping," Rodney shrieked in a highly offended tone.

Really, all Radek wanted to do was just leave them there to fight it out among themselves, but he'd drawn the short straw when they were trying to figure out who was going to take care of the suddenly transformed SGA-1 and he ended up with naptime.

He had tried to trade with Lorne for playtime thinking he could keep them busy with movies and games, but the major just smirked at him and clapped him on the shoulder and wished him good luck.

So, he was stuck with getting the four terrors of Atlantis (as they were known after only a day) to take a nap. You would think that with all his many talents it wouldn't be so hard to convince four 5-year-olds to take a nap. He was ready to admit defeat and see if he could get Carson to sedate them. (When he'd asked the day before Carson had just shaken his head sadly and pointed at the door.)

Muttering a Czech curse under his breath to which Rodney primly, "I'm going to tell Elizabeth you said that," Radek waded into the mass of 5-year-olds and pulled them apart getting elbowed in the stomach in the process.

"Hey," he grunted, falling backwards, more in surprise than pain.

He was instantly surrounded by children. They stared down at him, their faces solemn in their concern.

"Radek, are you alright?" Teyla asked as they all patted him in reassurance, little sticky hands patting at his arms and legs.

"I am fine," Radek insisted thinking this resembled some of his nightmares on the children's planet when he had been surrounded by children all the time. At least there he hadn't been in charge of any of them. He pushed away their sticky fingers wishing that Elizabeth would wash them up after lunch before she brought them for their nap.

Immediately John started to sniffle. He was a surprisingly sensitive child and being pushed away by Radek had him on the verge of tears.

"Sorry, Radek," he sniffled. "I didn't mean to be bad."

"Yes, you did," Radek snapped. Really he didn't know how to deal with children. He didn't know why he'd been chosen to take care of them. He thought that surely there was someone better suited to this than him.

"Hey," Rodney pulled John away and patted him on his shoulder comfortingly, "don't be mean to John. You're just a meany, poopy head."

And then Teyla and Ronon were agreeing and it was all too much.

"Yes, yes, I am a meany poopy head. I think you should all take naps now or you will find out just how much of a meany poopy head I can be."

They all stepped away from him then, their eyes big and round and Radek felt a little bit bad for scaring them (but only a little bit.).

"If you wanted us to take a nap, you only had to say sumthing," Rodney lisped.

It would have been adorable if Radek found that sort of thing adorable. As it was, he was counting down the days until they got the full sized version of Rodney back so he could tell him just what he thought of his 5-year-old self. Four more days, that was all according to Elizabeth's translation of the device. They got to be five for five days. Radek was sure there was some sort of symmetry to the whole things for the Ancients. He thought it was sick and twisted.

Without another word the children went to their beds and crawled in. It was a measure of just how tired they were that they fell asleep right away, curled up in their beds.

Elizabeth popped in to see how they were doing. She smiled at the charming sight of her lead team curled up in naps. "You have such a good way with them, Radek," she said brightly. "We should let you take care of them all the time."

Really, he'd leave Atlantis, but where did you go to escape from the Pegasus Galaxy?


End file.
